“Hm? Uh…um, no. I’m, ah…I’m just looking, thanks.”

“Well, ok. The computer books are right over there, you know.” She pointed across the periodicals, aiming in the general direction of the O’Reilly books.

“Huh?”

“Well, you’ve got a…what is that?” She poked her finger at a rolled-up magazine in my hand. “…Linux Journal there, so I figured you were into computers. Am I right?” She smiled.

Smiling back stupidly, I said, “Well, not exactly. I mean, yes, I’m into computers. But, I also wanted to check out the stuff on writing.” There was a pause, and I prattled right on. “…oh, and maybe photography. Hey, do you have the new issue of The Believer? I hear that Nick Hornby wrote something about Salinger in it, and, well, I love Salinger. Can’t get enough of him, actually. What about you?”

The mousy-haired bookstacker was looking at me funny. I looked funny right back at her. “Hello?” I said.

She furrowed her brow for a second, and then seemed to relax. “Oh, I get it. You mean you want books about writing on computers, right? I don’t know what I was thinking. They’re right over there,” she waved in the general direction of the ‘New Non-Fiction for People Interested in the Information Age’ section.

With a distinct feeling of dismay, I said, “No, no. Writing about writing, not computers. This magazine - ” I motioned with my future copy of Linux Journal, “is just for reading. For the bathroom, probably.”

This time I thought I had completely lost her. For a second, I thought she was having a seizure. “…Miss?” It must have been the bathroom comment. I’m always doing stuff like that. “You know, like I said, I’m into computers. Hello?”

She snapped out of it again - and with narrowed eyes, said, “But I thought you said you wanted books on writing.”

“Right. But, not books, exactly. Periodicals…you know, magazines? Like The Believer - you know, like I said. Oh, and photography, too, remember?”

“Uh…digital photography?”

“Well, no, not exactly. I use an SLR camera. You know, film.”

“You mean, you take pictures?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“…And you write?”

“Well, that’s the general idea, but, you know - not very well…or often, actually.” Heh.

“…And you’re into computers?”

“Yes. Well…yes. All of those.”

And then, with a look of horror, she said, “That is really grotesque.”